being thankful has taken on a whole new meaning to me this year. i mean, i have always been thankful. i know i am truly blessed. i have always had and have never needed. i live more than comfortably. i could list a million ways i am blessed and i am so thankful for all these blessings.
but this year? i can't contain my thankfulness. i guess when you've always "had" it's harder to be thankful. i know that isn't good. i know that i need to be ecstatically thankful at all times because of what i have been blessed with. but this year, i have never "had" a child before, and so never had to be thankful for one. so it's new. and it's uncontainable. i can't express how thankful i am for this child
i am thankful for his health, i am thankful for every breath he takes, i am thankful for the amazing smile that can literally get me through ANYTHING. i am thankful his eating and reflux has improved. i am thankful i can spend time with him every day. i am thankful for who HE is. His intense, series, sometimes somber, sometimes excited, always lovable personality. i am thankful for every last thing this child is to me. i am thankful for the poopy diapers, the spit up, the piles & piles & piles of laundry, the tears. i am thankful that he sleeps. i am thankful that he plays. i am thankful that the Lord trusted his care to ME.
the love i have for this child bursts from my soul. it's insane. i am thankful to be able to experience this type of love. a similar type of love the Lord has for His children. it is even harder for me to imagine how much the Lord loves me because i know that it's more than i love Ben. More? Impossible.
But, no, i know it isn't. and i am thankful for that love, because i do NOT deserve it. i am thankful for a savior who loves me, forgives me, saves me, blesses me, teaches me, comforts me, rescues me, and is the perfect parent to me. i am thankful that i have a relationship with that perfect parent. i am thankful Ben will grow up in a family to have the opportunity to also have that relationship because i know i am far from the perfect parent. already in just the first 7 months of his life i have been nowhere near close to perfection. but the closest thing to perfection i can do is LOVE him the way that i do. Although not as perfect as the Lord's love, i do believe it's one of the closest things to the real thing we can experience.
and for that i am thankful.
No comments:
Post a Comment